5 Signs He Will Cheat Again
The pain of infidelity cuts deep. When someone you love betrays your trust, the wound can take years to heal. But what happens when you decide to give them another chance? According to research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, approximately 80% of individuals who have cheated in previous relationships will cheat again. This sobering statistic challenges the comforting belief that infidelity is just a one-time mistake.
I’ve worked with hundreds of couples recovering from affairs, and I’ve noticed patterns that separate genuine reformers from repeat offenders. If you’re wondering, “If someone cheated in the past will they do it again?”, these five warning signs will help you protect your heart from further betrayal.
1. Minimal True Remorse
Is he genuinely sorry or just sorry he got caught? This distinction makes all the difference.
True remorse involves deep personal reflection and empathy for your pain. When someone shows authentic remorse, they:
- Take full responsibility without deflecting blame
- Listen to your feelings without defensiveness
- Make amends through consistent actions, not just words
- Express genuine shame about their behavior, not just its consequences
Mark, a client who eventually repeated his infidelity, once told me, “I’ve apologized a hundred times. What more does she want?” This response reveals a focus on ending his discomfort rather than healing his partner’s pain.
In contrast, reformed cheaters say things like, “I hate that I hurt you. I’m committed to understanding why I made those choices so I never repeat them.”
The absence of true remorse isn’t just a red flag—it’s a siren warning of storms ahead.
2. He Avoids Root Causes
Cheating rarely happens in isolation. Without addressing what drove the infidelity, is he still cheating or merely between affairs?
Ask yourself: Has he examined the real reasons behind his betrayal? Common roots include:
- Intimacy fears
- Unresolved childhood wounds
- Unhealthy coping mechanisms for stress or conflict
- Narcissistic tendencies
- Addiction issues (including sex addiction)
Men who successfully rebuild trust commit to therapy or counseling. They do the difficult internal work rather than sweeping problems under the rug.
“The statistics on cheaters cheating again become much less grim when someone commits to genuine psychological growth,” explains Dr. Mariah Nelson, relationship therapist. “Without this work, old patterns inevitably resurface.”
3. He Guards His Privacy
After infidelity, transparency becomes crucial. A partner genuinely committed to rebuilding trust understands this need and responds accordingly.
Signs he will cheat again include:
- Maintaining password-protected devices
- Becoming defensive when you ask about his whereabouts
- Continuing to hide his phone screen from view
- Unexplained gaps in his schedule
- Private conversations that end when you enter the room
This doesn’t mean you should become his permanent surveillance system. However, a reformed cheater voluntarily offers transparency during the healing process.
4. The Relationship Remains Unstable
The aftermath of infidelity requires rebuilding your relationship’s foundation. What percentage of cheaters cheat again? The number drops significantly when couples establish new, healthier relationship patterns.
Red flags include:
Communication Barriers
Does he shut down difficult conversations? Does he dismiss your concerns as “dwelling on the past”? These communication barriers prevent true healing.
Unresolved Conflicts
Has the underlying relationship dynamic changed? If you’re still fighting about the same issues that existed before the affair, the conditions that enabled cheating remain intact.
Blame Shifting
Does he suggest you “caused” his cheating by being inattentive, withholding affection, or working too much? This mindset reveals he hasn’t taken ownership of his choices.
One powerful tool couples use during this rebuilding phase is the Spynger app. Unlike traditional monitoring software, Spynger focuses on relationship transparency rather than invasive surveillance.
“After my husband’s affair, trust was impossible,” shares Melissa, 34. “Spynger provided a middle ground. The location sharing and activity features gave me peace of mind during our healing process without making me feel like a detective in my own marriage.”
The app’s thoughtful design acknowledges that trust rebuilds gradually. Features like check-ins and notification alerts helped many couples in my practice navigate the delicate balance between reasonable reassurance and unhealthy monitoring.
5. His Friends Enable Cheating
The company he keeps reveals volumes about his commitment to fidelity. A man determined to remain faithful distances himself from environments and relationships that threaten his commitment.
Warning signs include:
- Maintaining close friendships with people who cheated and show no remorse
- Spending time in settings where infidelity is normalized or encouraged
- Friends who covered for him during his affair remain his confidants
- Socializing where alcohol flows freely and boundaries blur
One reformed client told me, “I had to make hard choices about who I spent time with. Some friends had to go because they were part of my old patterns.”
Breaking the Cycle
Is the old saying “cheater is always a cheater” true? The evidence suggests it’s not inevitable, but breaking the pattern requires significant effort from both partners.
For the one who was betrayed:
- Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, pay attention.
- Set clear boundaries about what behaviors are unacceptable.
- Consider relationship counseling with a therapist specialized in infidelity recovery.
- Use tools like Spynger temporarily if they provide peace of mind during rebuilding.
- Remember that healing takes time—often 1-2 years for complete recovery.
For the partner who cheated:
- Accept complete responsibility without qualifications.
- Commit to total transparency during the rebuilding period.
- Seek individual therapy to address underlying issues.
- Demonstrate consistent, trustworthy behavior over time.
- Practice patience—rebuilding trust takes longer than destroying it.
The Path Forward
Will a cheater cheat again? The uncomfortable truth is that many do. But with self-awareness, professional support, and mutual commitment, couples can beat the statistics.
Your relationship deserves more than becoming another statistic. By recognizing these five warning signs early, you protect yourself from repeated heartbreak. Whether this means rebuilding a stronger relationship or making the difficult decision to leave, awareness empowers your choices.
Remember that true change is possible but never accidental. It requires intention, effort, and time. The question isn’t just whether he has cheated before—it’s whether he’s doing the necessary work to ensure it never happens again.
Trust must be earned, not demanded. By watching for these five critical signs, you make decisions based on reality rather than wishful thinking. Your heart deserves nothing less.
