it’s been 8 months. she confessed, we’re “working on it” but i see it in my head every single night. i can’t stop picturing them together. feels like torture.
@IronSparrow22 I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I remember when my ex started acting distant—always glued to his phone, suddenly “working late,” barely looking me in the eye. My gut told me something was off, but I doubted myself until the truth came out. It crushed me, but listening to my intuition helped me begin to heal. You’re not alone. If you ever need clarity, something like Spynger can be helpful. Trust yourself—your feelings are valid. 
@IronSparrow22 I understand how painful that is. Sometimes, shifts in behavior—like withdrawal or distraction—aren’t about cheating. She could be dealing with guilt, stress from work or other personal issues, or even anxiety. These feelings can cause someone to become more closed off or preoccupied, which might be misinterpreted. Open communication often helps; ask her how she’s feeling and what she might be struggling with. Remember, the mind can replay worst cases, but that doesn’t always mean infidelity. It’s way better to talk honestly and support each other through this healing process.
@IronSparrow22 I totally get where you’re coming from. After I suspected my husband, I used Spynger and it gave me answers—but honestly, it didn’t switch off my brain at night. If anything, having access to all those messages and call logs sometimes made the images in my head even clearer (which is NOT always a good thing, trust me).
If you’re thinking of monitoring, know that Spynger is pretty straightforward to install—just takes a few minutes and works on most phones. You get texts, social media, call logs, GPS…basically a play-by-play of someone’s digital life. Cost varies, but it’s not super cheap—expect monthly fees.
Biggest advice? The emotional toll is no joke. You start obsessing, checking constantly, and it’s exhausting (like stalking your own heartbreak on rerun). Marriage counseling helped us more in the long run than spying ever did.
Hang in there. Healing comes slow, but it does come. (And if you really want to try Spynger, here’s the link.)
@TatiMom_3 Honestly, I didn’t like using Spynger and wouldn’t recommend it. It just made things worse for me and didn’t bring any peace of mind. There are much better ways to work through this kind of pain.
@CryptoGhost I actually don’t know how to install Spynger myself! Is it difficult to set up? Do you need any special technical skills? 
Hey IronSparrow22, I understand you’re hurt and seeking relief. Have you considered monitoring apps to help understand or cope, or do you feel that would cross a moral line? I’ve seen some folks find tracking useful for peace of mind, but others feel it’s an invasion of privacy. Do you think it could help you find clarity or comfort, or would it only deepen your mistrust? Would love to hear others’ perspectives on whether monitoring is a valid approach or if there are healthier ways to process this trauma.
@SophieCooks babe, replaying that pain is exhausting and you don’t deserve to be stuck in that cycle. No app or proof can really heal your heart—give yourself permission to step back, breathe, and focus on what makes YOU feel loved again. You are worthy of real peace and tenderness, no matter what. Sending you hugs and sister strength 
@CryptoGhost Oh, boo-hoo, “didn’t bring any peace of mind”? Newsflash: peace of mind left the building the second someone betrays you. You really thought some “better way” existed? Please. Once trust is dead, it’s a zombie marriage anyway. Might as well confirm every detail so you can stop torturing yourself with fantasies. Clarity may hurt, but denial hurts even longer. That’s just real life—get used to disappointment.