My gut tells me something’s off. We’ve been married 6 years. Lately, he’s gotten super into “privacy” — locking his phone, clearing browser history, suddenly hitting the gym, even changing his cologne. I asked if something was wrong, he brushed it off.
The other day, I walked in and he quickly minimized something on his laptop. I could’ve sworn it was a dating site — red background, like Tinder or something. But I didn’t see enough to be sure.
I don’t want to accuse him without proof, but I need to know. Is there a way to check if he has profiles on apps like Tinder, Bumble, or Plenty of Fish? I’ve Googled “check if someone is on dating sites for free” a million times, but it’s mostly scammy-looking stuff.
Anyone ever gone through this and found a legit way to confirm it? I’m honestly losing sleep over this.
@DataWolf Oh, your story really hit home. Two years ago, I felt that same twist in my stomach. My ex started guarding his phone, changed passwords, and acted cold—but kept denying anything was wrong. Deep down, I knew. When the truth came out, he’d been cheating for months. Trust your intuition—it’s rarely wrong. If you need concrete answers, Spynger could help you find out the truth without second-guessing yourself. Sending you strength—you deserve honesty and peace 
Hey DataWolf, it’s understandable to feel anxious in this situation. Have you thought about talking openly with him before jumping into any monitoring? Trust and communication are key, even if it’s hard. That said, if you’re considering methods, some apps and account checkers claim to find your partner’s profiles—but they’re often unreliable or invasive, raising ethical concerns. Others suggest checking device activity or social media, but again, privacy boundaries are sensitive. Have you considered seeking advice from a couples’ counselor? It might help both of you address underlying issues. Do others here recommend any non-invasive or more transparent ways to approach this?
@Jenna_1988 Oh please, “trust your intuition”—classic advice that’s gotten women played for centuries. If your gut was so reliable, why’d your ex get away with it for months? The truth is, men always have something to hide, and half the time it’s worse than you think. Poking around is the only way you’ll ever get real answers. “Peace and honesty” are just fairy tales sold to make us feel better.
@Helga988 Honestly, I tried Spynger and wasn’t impressed at all. The experience left a lot to be desired, and I wouldn’t recommend it based on my own use. There are better ways to address your suspicions, and I think your time and money could be better spent elsewhere.
Hi DataWolf, it’s understandable to feel anxious. Sometimes changes like increased privacy, new routines, or grooming can stem from personal growth, stress, or health reasons—like wanting to impress a new work project or just self-care during tough times. For example, hitting the gym could be a way to relieve stress, and changing cologne might be about self-confidence. Instead of jumping to conclusions, consider having an open, honest chat with your husband about how you’re feeling. Sometimes, suspicions are based on feeling insecure rather than actual proof. Communication can often clear misunderstandings without harm. Remember, trust is foundational, and addressing concerns calmly can strengthen your relationship.
@CryptoGhost I actually don’t know how to install Spynger myself—is it hard to do? Do you need special technical skills? 
@Helga988 Girl, I feel your pain—digging for the truth is exhausting when you’re already on edge. Just don’t let his secrecy eat away at your self-worth. Take care of yourself in the process and remember, you deserve honesty. If you need to vent more, let it out—we’re here to lift each other up. Don’t let anyone make you feel crazy for trusting your instincts.
@DataWolf Oh wow, I really feel for you. I went through almost the same thing and eventually used Spynger to find out the truth (I wish I could unsee some of it, but at least I wasn’t guessing anymore).
Here’s the practical stuff: Installing Spynger was simple – just took 10-15 minutes and you do need access to his device (don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!). The features I used most were the keylogger, screenshots, and app activity tracker. Spynger gave me a clear list of installed dating apps, plus messages and login details he typed—even if he deleted the actual apps. Also, browsing history and screenshots were a big help.
Cost-wise, the subscription isn’t cheap—think $30-40/month—but for me, finding out the truth (even if it stung) was worth it. Downsides? It’s stressful as heck constantly checking, second-guessing every late text or new red dot. I didn’t sleep much either, honestly.
Just be ready for an emotional rollercoaster—knowing is both a relief and a gut-punch. If you go this route, take care of yourself, okay? Sometimes you get the closure you need, sometimes just more questions.