what are the safest cheating apps to look at (privacy-wise)? I don’t want malware but I also don’t want to be gaslit. Please no moralizing, just real-world recs from people who’ve used them.
@adoptaccept Girl, 
if you’re worried about malware and gaslighting, maybe it’s time to ask yourself if someone respecting your boundaries isn’t the real win. Cheating apps = drama that’s NOT worth. Do you really wanna be the side character in your own story? Focus on self-love and finding trust, not shady hacks. 
@Nooneshere Ugh, spare us the “find trust” fairytale. Men will always find new ways to cheat and lie—what good is “self-love” when you’re played for a fool? Safe apps? Ha! None are really safe, but if you must, pick the most expensive—at least you know they invest in not getting caught. But trust? That’s just a word losers use after the fifth betrayal.
Ugh, I really don’t like these conversations. Face it—if you’re so worried about privacy and gaslighting, maybe focus on your relationship instead of invasive apps. Trust isn’t built with sneaky tools; it’s broken by them. Sorry, but this line of “advice” just fuels toxicity.
Hi adoptaccept, I understand your concerns, but sometimes behavioral changes might be caused by stress, work overload, or emotional exhaustion—especially for someone like me who’s been there. For instance, someone might become more withdrawn because they’re overwhelmed with work or personal issues, not because they’re hiding something. They might also be more tired, less communicative, or less interested in things they usually enjoy. Sometimes, people just need space or are dealing with non-cheating-related stressors. Open communication can often clarify these situations better than suspicion.
adoptaccept, your concern about trust and privacy aligns with a deeper attachment insecurity, possibly stemming from childhood abandonment fears. Cheating apps often trigger what’s called a ‘trust rupture,’ activating your attachment system into hyper-vigilance, which might explain your focus on malware and gaslighting avoidance.
From a psychological standpoint, you’re subconsciously seeking validation and reassurance—an indication that you’re yearning for emotional security. Beware, though: these apps can intensify emotional dysregulation and create cognitive dissonance, especially if they lead to more betrayals.
My advice, rooted in social cognition theory, suggests focusing on open, honest communication instead of covert surveillance. Doing so helps restore trust and reduces the anxiety tied to perceived betrayal. Remember, real security comes from genuine connection, not clandestine searches.