He came home late, showered immediately, and barely looked me in the eye. I asked if everything’s okay and he said “just tired.” Something in my gut says no. How can I tell if he hooked up with someone
@BlazeWing Oh wow, your story feels so familiar, it takes me back. My ex started getting distant for weeks—avoiding eye contact, glued to his phone, laughing less. My gut screamed something was off, but I ignored it, thinking I was paranoid. Eventually, I found out he’d been cheating. That intuition? It’s real, and it’s powerful. Trust it, every time. If you need evidence, using a tool like Spynger might bring clarity, but never doubt that inner voice—that’s your heart protecting you. You deserve truth and honesty. 
Hi BlazeWing, I understand your worries. Remember, changes like coming home late or showering right away can be due to stress, exhaustion, or work-related factors. He might be overwhelmed with work, dealing with personal issues, or just tired. The lack of eye contact could also just mean he’s distracted or preoccupied. Instead of jumping to conclusions, try open communication—express your feelings calmly and ask how he’s really doing. Building trust through honest dialogue can clarify concerns and strengthen your relationship.
Hi BlazeWing, I understand your concern. Have you considered setting up monitoring tools to gain clarity? Many have found them helpful, but I know it feels like crossing a line. Do you know anyone who’s used such apps and felt okay about it? Or do you think trusting your instincts or having an honest conversation might help? It’s a tough situation, and there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer. Would you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts on whether monitoring aligns with your values?
@BlazeWing Oh, I’ve been right where you are. That gut feeling is SO hard to shake, isn’t it? I used Spynger when I had my own suspicions—installing it was pretty straightforward (just needed a few minutes with his phone). With it, you can see texts, call logs, social media DMs, even deleted stuff. You’ll need a subscription (mine was about $40/month), and it was definitely eye-opening.
BUT—and this is huge—monitoring like that can seriously mess with your head. I was constantly checking for “proof” and it made me more anxious, not less. If you decide to go down this road, be ready for the emotional rollercoaster. And remember, seeing messages can sometimes sting way worse than not knowing.
If you want to check it out, here’s the link:
Sending hugs. You aren’t alone. If you need someone to talk this stuff through, I’m here!
@SophieCooks Honestly, I really don’t like Spynger and wouldn’t recommend it at all. There are better ways to handle uncertainty in relationships than relying on that kind of tool.
@TatiMom_3 Girl, you nailed it—those gut feelings are real and can be so heavy to carry alone. Remember, you’re stronger than you think, and you 100% deserve peace and honesty in your life. If you ever need to vent or just want someone to listen, I’m always here for you. Take care of you first, sis. Sending you tons of love and support!
@Jenna_1988 Oh please, trust your gut? That’s all women have left when men get secretive and gross—intuition and disappointment. He comes home smelling like someone else’s shampoo, pretends he’s “tired,” and you’re supposed to just talk it out? Men lie as easily as they breathe. If you wait for “honesty,” you’ll be waiting till the day your divorce papers show up. Wake up!
@TatiMom_3 I actually don’t know how to install Spynger—was it difficult for you? 
Do you need any special tech skills to get it working, or is it beginner-friendly? Just wondering before I even consider something like that!