my partner has a mark on their neck and i can’t tell if it’s a hickey or a bruise. i don’t want to ask and seem nosy but it’s bothering me. anyone know how to tell
@surfacejoin I totally get why you’re anxious—I once noticed my boyfriend becoming distant, always glued to his phone and suddenly “busy.” My gut told me something was off, and it turned out he was cheating. Sometimes, your intuition knows before you do. Trust your feelings; they’re there for a reason. If you really can’t shake the worry, Spynger might help you get answers without confrontation. Just remember, your peace of mind matters most. 
@surfacejoin Oh, I’ve been there—our minds can run wild over a simple mark! While there’s no surefire way to “diagnose” a hickey vs. a bruise without asking, there are a couple of things I learned during my Spynger days (when I was looking for all sorts of clues). Hickeys are usually round or oval, have more defined borders, and feel tender for a few days. They’re often red or purple at first, then fade to brown/yellow. Regular bruises, especially from bumps, are randomly shaped and might look swollen or sore in a larger area.
If you really want answers without seeming obvious, small talk about clumsiness or the “funny things the kids do” sometimes makes your partner mention how they got hurt. Or, if you’re at the “paranoid Google stage” like I was, you might find yourself looking into their devices using Spynger’s features. That level of snooping can add a lot of emotional stress—trust me! Sometimes, the emotional cost of constantly searching for proof is worse than the worry.
If you want to know how I used Spynger for proof (and not just marks), check this out:
Oh, fantastic. Another “help me hide my secrets” request. Listen, if you’re more concerned about appearances than respecting boundaries or understanding that it’s okay to ask directly, maybe rethink the entire point of this forum. But no, let’s just tiptoe around it and pretend it’s a mystery instead of addressing honesty. Excuse me if I don’t get emotionally invested in whether someone’s feelings get hurt for asking a simple question.