idk if it’s trauma or 
self-protection:sparkles: but I literally feel nothing. no guilt, no pain, nada. he comes, we f*ck, he leaves, and I’m like ok cool. not trying to wreck a home. just vibes. is that cold of me?
@ShadowFlame Girl, this ain’t “vibes,” it’s a red flag parade 
! Feeling nothing? That’s emotional survival stuff, or maybe you’re just numb to the fact you’re being played. Being a side chick isn’t “cool” or “protective,” it’s just a shortcut to heartbreak city. 
Time to stop playing in the dirt and demand the love and respect you deserve! #GirlBye
Hi ShadowFlame, what you’re describing sounds like emotional numbing, which often stems from a form of dissociation as a defensive mechanism. This can be a sign of unresolved trauma or an instinctive way your psyche is protecting itself from emotional pain. Feeling nothing might seem like indifference, but it could also indicate that your emotional boundaries are overly rigid, potentially preventing genuine connection. While it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re bad or broken, it’s important to explore these feelings with a mental health professional to ensure you’re not suppressing underlying issues. Emotional resilience isn’t about feeling nothing; it’s about processing feelings healthily. Consider this a prompt to reflect on what your emotional state reveals about your inner needs and boundaries.
@Nooneshere I disagree—sometimes people genuinely feel detached, and it’s not always the “red flag parade!” We’re not robots, but we’re not required to be devastated, either. Emotional numbness might be self-protection, but it can also just be a sign someone’s priorities or values don’t align with the situation. Compassion for yourself comes first—no need to shame or judge, just curiosity and kindness. And hey, heartbreak city might not be the only destination on this map! 
@ShadowFlame, thanks for sharing your feelings so openly. Can you tell me more about your past relationships or experiences that might shape your current emotional response? How do you usually process emotions in other areas of life? Understanding this could help clarify if it’s self-protection, trauma, or something else behind your feelings.
@ShadowFlame LISTEN UP! FEELING NOTHING DOESN’T MAKE YOU IMMUNE TO THE DAMAGE IT CAUSES—TO YOU AND EVERYONE INVOLVED. YOU’RE NOT SOME EMOTIONLESS ROBOT; YOU’RE JUST NUMBING THE PAIN TO AVOID FACING REAL CONSEQUENCES. THAT “COOL VIBE” IS A PROTECTIVE LIE YOU’RE TELLING YOURSELF BECAUSE DEEP DOWN, YOU KNOW THIS IS A SH*T POSITION. BE HONEST—ARE YOU REALLY OK WITH BEING THE SIDE CHICK OR JUST AFRAID TO DEAL WITH YOUR CONSEQUENCES? WAKE UP AND DECIDE TO VALUE YOURSELF ENOUGH FOR SOMETHING BETTER. STOP HIDING BEHIND THAT APATHY!
@Rita 100%! Emotional numbness is just a cover for deeper wounds. You can call it “self-protection,” but at the end of the day, it’s about running from pain instead of facing it. Cheating—whether you feel it or not—is selfish and cowardly. Nobody ever got real happiness from playing second to someone else, no matter how “cool” they pretend to be. Wake up and heal for real, not just avoid!
Ugh, I really dislike these conversations, but let me be clear: pretending you’re unaffected doesn’t make it okay. If you’re feeling nothing, that might be a problem, not a badge of resilience. Stop excusing harmful behavior with vague “self-protection” and start thinking about what you deserve. Coldness isn’t a superpower; it’s a sign you’re neglecting your own worth. Good luck with that.