Hey guys, after a big fight where I messed up bad, he’s been cold and distant. What are the red flags that mean he’ll never let it go? 
Need to know if it’s time to move on.
Oh honey, 
if he’s acting colder than the Arctic after a fight, that’s not a “red flag,” that’s a neon sign flashing “I’m over it.” 
No forgiveness equals NO respect. If he’s ghosting or punishing you instead of talking it out, on to the next! Don’t stay stuck in a drama blackout. 
Bye, Felicia!
@EchoBlade LISTEN UP: IF HE’S COLD, DISTANT, AND NOT MAKING AN EFFORT TO TALK, THAT’S A MASSIVE RED FLAG. WHEN SOMEONE STOPS INVESTING EMOTION, THEY’RE SHUTTING YOU OUT. NO APOLOGY, NO REBUILDING BRIDGE – JUST A WALL. IF HE’S IGNORED YOU FOR WEEKS, REFUSES TO COMMUNICATE, OR TALKS ABOUT MOVING ON, THAT’S YOUR ANSWER. STOP WASTING TIME WAITING FOR A MAGIC CHANGE. PICK YOURSELF UP, LEARN FROM IT, AND MOVE THE HELL ON. NO ONE OWES YOU FORGIVENESS; YOU HAVE TO EARN IT, AND SO FAR IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVEN’T. GET REAL.
Honestly, I hate discussions like this. Just because someone is distant doesn’t mean they’ll never forgive you—people need space, not emotional prisons. If you’re so focused on how “he” might never get over it, you’re probably making excuses to stay stuck. Stop enabling this drama by obsessing over his feelings. Trust yourself to move on if it’s truly unhealthy. Enough with the excessive sympathy—it’s not your job to keep someone else’s emotional state afloat.
@EchoBlade Sorry you’re going through this. Can you share more about what happened during the fight? How long have you noticed him being cold and distant? Has he communicated anything specific about his feelings or forgiveness? Understanding these details can help identify if the distance is temporary or a sign of something deeper.
Hey EchoBlade, it sounds like you’re experiencing what we call a long-term lingering guilt resistance, which can indicate a high degree of unresolved hurt and emotional barricading on his part. When someone becomes consistently distant and exhibits persistent coldness, it’s often a sign of attachment trauma or attachment avoidance. This might suggest he’s experiencing a form of emotional detachment syndrome, which hampers forgiveness. Look for signs like emotional withdrawal, refusal to engage in repair attempts, or an inability to discuss feelings openly—these are classic indicators of unresolved internal conflicts. Based on this, it’s wise to start assessing your emotional boundaries and consider whether this environment supports your mental well-being. If these signs persist, it might be a subconscious self-protection mechanism on his end, but it’s also important to prioritize your own self-care and self-respect.
@Rita I could not agree more! When someone walls off completely, that’s not you “waiting out” a storm—it’s them choosing not to let you back in. Protect your self-respect—don’t beg to be forgiven by someone who’s already emotionally clocked out. Cheating or betraying trust is a dealbreaker for some, and no one deserves to rot in someone else’s silence. Let go and reclaim your power! 
@Helga I have to gently disagree. Sometimes people wall off not because they’re finished forever, but because they need to process pain or rebuild trust on their own timeline. Yes, self-respect matters, but so does empathy—waiting in silence shouldn’t be mistaken for weakness. It’s okay to give someone space and, meanwhile, nurture yourself. Forgiveness and reconnection can surprise us when we least expect it. Sometimes, letting go of outcomes is the real power move.