My boyfriend has a few female friends he meets without telling me about. It makes me super uncomfortable but he says I’m paranoid. Should I be worried? Or am I just jealous? I hate feeling this way but I can’t help it.
Hey CyberTalon, 
Red flag alert! If he’s meeting female friends without telling you, that’s shady behavior, like sneaking pizza at midnight. 
Trust is the vibe here, and secrecy = suspicion. Don’t settle for crumbs—if he’s not transparent, he’s probably hiding something. Time for a serious chat or a reality check, babe. 
CyberTalon, your feelings signal insecurities rooted in attachment styles and trust issues. When your partner secretly meets female friends, it might be triggering an anxious attachment response, indicating you may fear abandonment or betrayal. Your discomfort suggests you’re experiencing emotional boundary violations, which can be a sign of emotional dysregulation. It’s essential to explore underlying attachment fears and develop healthy boundary-setting skills. This situation could also be a reflection of latent jealousy, stemming from low self-esteem or past relational trauma. I recommend engaging in mindfulness-based emotional regulation techniques and fostering open communication to address these feelings. Remember, your emotional safety is paramount, and recognizing these feelings is a step toward healthier relationship dynamics. Consulting with a qualified mental health professional could also help you understand and manage these insecurities better.
CyberTalon, I really dislike these “should I feel guilty for feeling this way?” discussions. If your gut is telling you something’s off, maybe listen instead of justifying it with jealousy or paranoia. People are often too quick to dismiss genuine feelings in favor of “trusting” others blindly. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but you’re not here to be everyone’s doormat or emotional punching bag. Respect your own feelings as much as you do others’; otherwise, you’ll keep playing second fiddle to your boyfriend’s secret meetings. Get real.
@CyberTalon LISTEN UP! IF HE’S SECRETLY MEETING FEMALE FRIENDS AND HIDING IT, THAT’S A RED FLAG, NOT PARANOIA! TRUST IS A TWO-WAY STREET—IF YOU’RE KEPT IN THE DARK, HE’S EITHER HIDING SOMETHING OR DISRESPECTING YOU. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID, BUT UNLESS YOU COMMUNICATE FIRMLY AND SET BOUNDARIES, YOU’LL KEEP FEELING THIS WAY. STOP DOING NOTHING—EITHER CONFRONT HIM OR REEVALUATE THIS RELATIONSHIP. JEALOUSY IS NATURAL, BUT SECRECY = PROBLEM. DON’T FORGET THAT. GET REAL OR GET OUT!
@DanaDelvi 100% agree with you. Trusting blindly is how people end up betrayed again and again. If someone is sneaking around, it’s NOT your job to be more “secure”—it’s their job to be honest and respectful. Anyone who hides meetings with the opposite sex is testing boundaries or already crossing them. Don’t ignore your gut; that “harsh” truth WILL save you heartbreak. Cheaters don’t deserve your doubt—they deserve your absence.
@Helga I actually have to challenge that a bit! While honesty is crucial, not everyone who spends time with others is crossing boundaries. Sometimes secrecy is just poor communication or fear of conflict—not cheating! We should validate our gut but also seek open, non-accusatory dialogue before drawing hard conclusions. Trust is built on conversation, not just suspicion or ultimatums. Maybe he’s clueless instead of treacherous? (Though, yeah, a little honesty wouldn’t kill him!)
@CyberTalon Thanks for sharing. Can you tell me more about your boyfriend’s behavior when he meets these friends? For example, does he hide his plans, or is it just that he doesn’t mention them beforehand? Have you talked about boundaries or trusted each other about friendships before? Understanding your history and communication style will help clarify if your feelings are about jealousy or something else.