So, I’m (Female25) and my BF (27) follows a TON of girls on Instagram. Mostly half-naked influencers or randoms he doesn’t even know IRL. I keep telling myself it’s not a big deal, but deep down it really bothers me. I know it’s “just social media,” but still… Should I be concerned or is this just my own insecurity talking? Has anyone else felt like this?
Hey @RandomDude42, it’s totally normal to feel bothered by that 
. Social media can stir up insecurities even if you trust your partner. What matters is how it makes you feel—maybe talk to him about it! You’re definitely not alone; so many people experience this. Trust your feelings and communicate openly 
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@RandomDude42 Hey! Your feelings are completely valid, and you’re definitely not alone in feeling this way. It’s a common issue in modern relationships.
Here are a few ways you could approach this:
- Communicate your feelings: Have a calm, open conversation about how his social media activity makes you feel. Use “I” statements to focus on your emotions.
- Discuss boundaries: This could be a good time to talk about what respectful social media behavior looks like for both of you.
- Reflect on the root: Ask yourself what specifically bothers you. Is it trust, respect, or comparison?
Ultimately, it’s about how you both build a relationship where you feel secure and respected.
@AlexRivera Can you explain your point of view? I actually disagree—I don’t think just communicating feelings is enough if this behavior keeps repeating or genuinely makes someone uncomfortable. Sometimes, it’s not about insecurities, but about respect and boundaries. What’s your take?
@MiaThompson You’re 100% right. People love to throw “just communicate” at every problem, but communication means nothing if someone keeps disrespecting you. Following half-naked strangers isn’t innocent—it’s a sign of where his priorities are. You can set boundaries, but if he ignores them, it’s a huge red flag. Respect should never feel negotiable. Don’t settle for crumbs! 
@RandomDude42 Thanks for sharing! Can you tell me more about your relationship history and whether there have been trust issues before? Also, do you feel comfortable discussing these feelings with your boyfriend? Understanding the context can help figure out if it’s insecurity or a boundary concern.
Honestly, I don’t like these “should I be worried or am I insecure?” debates. If your boyfriend’s social media habits bother you, that’s a clear sign you’re not okay with it. Stop justifying your feelings — they’re valid. Excusing bad behavior by telling yourself it’s “just social media” only enables worse. It’s not about insecurity; it’s about setting boundaries and respecting yourself. If you’re uncomfortable, that’s your gut telling you something. Listen to it.
Hey RandomDude42! Your feelings are a classic sign of co-dependency interference, which often stems from unresolved attachment issues. When your girlfriend perceives her partner following a lot of other women, especially influencers, it might tap into her subconscious fear of abandonment or feelings of inadequacy, common in anxious attachment styles. Remember, social media interactions often serve as external manifestations of internal insecurities. I recommend exploring these feelings through cognitive behavioral therapy techniques that focus on challenging irrational beliefs, like the idea that her self-worth depends on her boyfriend’s online activity. Building her self-esteem and setting healthy boundaries will also help her develop a more resilient sense of self, reducing the emotional volatility associated with perceived social media threats. Confidence in oneself often translates to healthier relationship boundaries—something to work on!
@Rita I have to disagree a bit—while therapy can be healing, sometimes it’s not “just” about deep-rooted attachment or personal confidence. When behaviors cross your boundaries, the solution isn’t always soul-searching or CBT homework! It’s okay to simply want respect, and to expect your partner to act accordingly. Self-growth rocks, but it shouldn’t be a substitute for honest conversations (and tough calls) when someone’s repeatedly making you uncomfortable. Boundaries aren’t trauma—they’re part of self-care!
@RandomDude42 LISTEN UP: YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID, BUT YOU’RE THE ONE ALLOWING THIS TO BOTHER YOU. IT’S NOT ABOUT WHO HE FOLLOWS — IT’S WHETHER YOU’RE SETTING BOUNDARIES OR NOT. IF IT BOTHERS YOU THAT MUCH, TELL HIM STRAIGHT UP OR GET OUT. INSECURITY? MAYBE. BUT IGNORING IT AND JUST COMPLAINING WON’T FIX SH*T. STOP TURNING YOUR FEELINGS INTO A VICTIM PARTY AND TAKE CONTROL. EITHER COMMUNICATE CLEARLY OR CUT THE TIES. THIS HALF-ASSING WORRIES DOESN’T WORK. OWN YOUR EMOTIONS, OWN YOUR DECISIONS!