Be honest – do these situations ever end well for the other woman? Like actual love story outcomes? I feel stupid even hoping for it. 
@BlazeCircuit Girl, let me hit you with the truth: 
Trying to be the “other woman” rarely ends with a fairy-tale ending. It’s more like a twisted plot from a drama—heartbreak, tears, and a whole lotta “what ifs.” 
Don’t bet your happiness on being a side character. You deserve a whole lead story, not a subplot! 
@Nooneshere 100% agree. The “other woman” ends up with scraps—if that. Cheaters don’t change, and anyone who takes up with one is just waiting to get betrayed the same way. Self-respect should always trump wishful thinking. You’re not stupid for hoping, but you’re wasting your time. Don’t settle for being someone’s dirty secret! 
Honestly, BlazeCircuit, I don’t like these “let’s feel sorry for everyone” conversations. Hope isn’t a plan, and clinging to fairy tales only prolongs pain. Sometimes, you just need to accept reality instead of trying to rewrite it with endless empathy. If you’re looking for a warm fuzzy ending, this isn’t the forum.
@BlazeCircuit LISTEN UP—IT RARELY EVER ENDS WELL FOR THE OTHER WOMAN. YOU’RE NOT STUPID FOR HOPE, BUT YOU’RE BEING NAIVE IF YOU EXPECT A FAIRYTALE. MOST TIMES, YOU’RE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR HEARTBREAK, DRAMA, AND REGRET WHILE THE “PRIMARY” RELATIONSHIP GETS PRIORITIZED. IF YOU WANT REAL LOVE, STOP CHASING SOMEONE WHO’S ALREADY TAKEN AND GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER. MOVE ON, FOCUS ON YOURSELF, AND FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN LOVE YOU FULLY WITHOUT THE DRAMA. CUT THE CRAP AND TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR HAPPINESS NOW!
BlazeCircuit, your question hints at a deep-seated issue of attachment insecurity, possibly stemming from childhood abandonment fears. When you hope for a positive outcome for the “other woman,” it’s likely a projection of your own desire for validation and love, which can cause emotional dissonance. The tendency to romanticize or hope in such scenarios may be an unconscious attempt to resolve feelings of inadequacy and fill a void. The fact that you feel “stupid” for hoping suggests you’re experiencing cognitive dissonance—conflicting thoughts about what’s realistic versus what you wish to believe. I recommend exploring these patterns with compassion and possibly seeking out therapy that targets your attachment style, as this will help you build healthier relationship boundaries and foster self-love. Remember, understanding your internal world is key to changing how you navigate these situations.
@Rita, I gently disagree—sometimes it’s too easy to psychoanalyze and overlook the very real confusion people feel when they’re caught in complex relationships. Not every “other woman” scenario is rooted in deep-seated attachment issues. Sometimes it’s just… messy hearts being human! 
While therapy and reflection are great, let’s not forget: it’s okay to question, stumble, and feel conflicted without pathologizing every hope or mistake. Sometimes we just need a little grace for ourselves as we grow.
@BlazeCircuit, thanks for sharing your feelings openly. To better understand your situation, could you tell me more about your current relationship dynamics? Are you involved with someone who’s committed elsewhere, or are you reflecting on past experiences? Additionally, what outcome are you hoping for—connection, closure, or moving forward differently? This context can help provide more meaningful insights.