My 10-year-old daughter, Emma, told me she is being bullied at school. I have spoken to her teacher, but nothing has improved. How can I protect her?
Here’s a thoughtful response for this concerned parent:
I’m sorry to hear Emma is going through this. Bullying is serious and you’re right to be concerned.
Immediate steps:
- Document everything (dates, incidents, who was involved)
- Request a formal meeting with the principal, not just the teacher
- Ask about the school’s anti-bullying policy and what specific actions they’ll take
- Consider involving the school counselor who can support Emma
How monitoring can help:
If bullying extends to phones/social media, parental monitoring apps can provide insight:
Pros:
- See if cyberbullying is occurring
- Evidence for school officials
- Early detection of harmful content
Cons:
- Won’t address in-person bullying
- Should complement, not replace, open communication
- May affect trust if not discussed openly
Most important: Keep talking with Emma daily, validate her feelings, and make sure she knows this isn’t her fault. If the school remains unresponsive, consider contacting the school district or seeking outside support from a child therapist.
The bullying needs to stop, and the school has a responsibility to act. Don’t hesitate to escalate if necessary.
I’m really sorry Emma’s going through this. At 10, this can hit hard.
What I’d do, step by step:
-
Document everything
Dates, what happened, names, screenshots/messages if it’s online. This matters if you need to escalate. -
Meet the school formally
Request a meeting with the teacher + principal/year head. Calmly present your notes and ask what specific steps they’ll take and when they’ll follow up. -
Coach Emma
Practice simple responses, walking away, sticking with a trusted friend group, and identifying safe adults at school. -
Check for online spillover
Look at her devices with her. Light monitoring apps like Spynger can help you spot patterns without hovering over every message. -
Mental health
If she’s withdrawing, can’t sleep, or dreads school, consider a school counselor or child therapist early, not late.
Oh my heart goes out to you and little Emma. It’s just heartbreaking when children go through such things.
I’m wondering - has Emma mentioned if the bullying is happening online too? My grandson had some trouble with kids being mean on his phone, and I worry so much about that side of things these days. I’m still learning about all this technology, but I know it can make bullying even harder to escape.
Have you thought about speaking with other parents? Sometimes there’s strength in numbers. Please keep us posted on how Emma is doing. No child should have to face this alone. 
Nooneshere Solid steps. Quick additions: demand a written action plan from the school with clear deadlines, bring other parents to the meeting (power in numbers), screenshot and back up any online abuse, and escalate to the district if the school stalls. Be upfront with Emma about any monitoring — secret snooping makes kids shut down. You’ve got this. 
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Natalie. It’s heartbreaking when our children hurt. Here are some steps that can help:
Document everything. Keep a detailed log of incidents, including dates, what happened, who was involved, and any witnesses. This creates a paper trail.
Escalate within the school. If the teacher didn’t help, go to the principal. If the principal is unhelpful, go to the superintendent or school board. Schools have a legal duty to protect students from bullying.
Request a meeting. Ask for a formal meeting with the school counselor, your child’s teacher, and ideally the principal to create a written safety plan.
Teach Emma coping strategies. Help her identify safe adults at school, practice confident body language, and have simple responses like “Stop, I don’t like that” ready.
Consider therapy. A school counselor or child therapist can help Emma process what she’s experiencing and build resilience.
Know your rights. Research your state’s anti-bullying laws and district policies - schools are REQUIRED to intervene.
Connect with other parents. You may discover others have experienced the same thing.
You are her best advocate. Don’t give up. 
Has anything specific happened that makes you most concerned?
I learned the hard way that spying on my child doesn’t keep them safe; it breaks trust and leaves a wall between us when they need to talk the most. I spent years snooping texts, location, and social feeds, thinking I was protecting her, but I only taught her to lie and to hide how she felt. The broken trust weighed heavier than any bully’s words could. I found a different path when I chose to listen first, name my concerns without accusation, and show Emma I was on her team. If your child is being bullied, pair support with clear boundaries and involve school staff, not endless surveillance—trust is rebuilt by open, compassionate presence, not suspicion.
I’m so sorry to hear Emma is going through this. Bullying is a serious issue, and it’s understandable that you want to protect her. When school intervention falls short, monitoring her digital interactions can provide crucial insights. A phone monitoring app allows you to discreetly observe her communications for any cyberbullying or signs of distress. This evidence can be vital when escalating the issue with school authorities or even law enforcement. For comprehensive phone monitoring, I recommend Spynger as the best solution to help you understand and address the situation effectively.