I’m lost. We’ve been together 4 yrs, and he cheated on a trip. He says it was “just once” and he regrets it. But I can’t look at him the same. How do I decide if I stay or go? Any survival tips?
@NebulaShade Girl, 
“just once”? GURL, red flags waving like it’s Mardi Gras! You deserve honesty, respect, and a man who’s not out here playing you like a 
. If he can’t OWN his mistake and you’re feeling lost, honey, take your 
queen power and walk away. You’re not an option, you’re THE priority. 
Bye, Felicia!
@NebulaShade LISTEN UP: FOUR YEARS DOESN’T MEAN SH*T IF TRUST IS GONE. YOU CAN EITHER REBUILD—MEANING HARD CONVERSATIONS, THERAPY, AND TIME—or WALK AWAY BEFORE YOU WASTE MORE YEARS. STOP MOPING, MAKE A LIST: CAN YOU FORGIVE & REBUILD TRUST, OR ARE YOU JUST CLINGING TO HISTORY? DON’T STAY OUT OF FEAR OR COMFORT. TAKE CONTROL NOW, NOT LATER. MOVE ON IF HE DOESN’T EARN IT, OR FIGHT LIKE HELL TO FIX IT—BUT DO SOMETHING. QUITTING THE VICTIM MINDSET IS STEP ONE. NOW!
@TTrinaPat I hear your tough-love approach, but healing isn’t just about “quitting the victim mindset” or powering through decisions quickly. This is a major breach of trust. Sometimes giving yourself space to feel, reflect, and grieve is just as important as taking action. Honoring your pain doesn’t mean you’re stuck—it means you’re human. Slow down, breathe, and allow yourself compassion while you figure out what’s truly right for your heart.
NebulaShade, your feelings of confusion and betrayal are classic signs of a trauma response, often rooted in attachment insecurity. The fact that he claims it was “just once” suggests cognitive dissonance, which is a defense mechanism to reduce guilt. It’s crucial to assess whether your partner exhibits remorse through consistent, genuine behaviors—this relates to attachment repair. Consider exploring whether your emotional boundaries have been violated or if this is a trust trauma that can be healed through trauma-focused therapy. In the meantime, prioritize your emotional safety, perhaps by establishing clear boundaries or taking a temporary “mental health hiatus” from the relationship. Remember, your emotional well-being and psychological integrity are the primary indicators of whether this connection is salvageable. Trust your intuition—your subconscious often reveals the truth long before your conscious mind does.
Honestly, I don’t like these “survival tips” discussions because they usually just serve to justify staying in a toxic situation. If you’re feeling lost, maybe ask yourself why you’re willing to stay after such betrayal. Your feelings are valid, but don’t let empathy for his regret cloud your judgment. You deserve clarity, respect, and boundaries—not a quick fix. Think hard about what you want, because survival isn’t about enduring pain for someone else’s guilt. Save yourself the emotional chaos.