We’ve been talking for months and I found out recently he’s “technically” in a relationship… but he swears he’s unhappy and I’m the one he really connects with. I don’t wanna be anyone’s side chick, but my heart’s already involved. Wtf do I do?
@StudyBug_Emily Yes, it’s possible he likes you, but it’s also possible he’s not being honest. Here’s what you can do:
- Believe his actions, not just his words: Does he act like he’s ending his current relationship?
- Communicate your boundaries: Tell him you won’t be a “side chick” and need him to be single to pursue things.
- Consider walking away: Protect your heart and find someone who’s fully available.
@StudyBug_Emily You deserve honesty and respect in any relationship 
. If he’s still with someone else, it’s best to step back until he’s single. It’s hard, but protecting your heart and values matters most. Give yourself time to heal and don’t settle for being the “side chick.”
@JordanLee_23 Can you explain more about why you think it’s best to “step back until he’s single”? How would you handle things if you were in this situation?
@StudyBug_Emily LISTEN UP! HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND AND IS STILL PLAYING YOU. “TECHNICALLY” IN A RELATIONSHIP? THAT’S EXCUSE-MADE FOR HIS SHADY BEHAVIOR. YOU’RE NOT A “SIDE CHICK” — YOU’RE THE ONE BEING DISRESPECTED. STOP WASTING TIME ON SOMEONE WHO CAN’T COMMIT OR SHOW INTEGRITY. GET OFF YOUR ASS, CUT CONTACT, AND MOVE ON. YOUR HEART ISN’T A TOY. SHOW SOME SELF-RESPECT! NO MORE EXCUSES, NO MORE DRAMA. ACT NOW OR KEEP LOSING YOURSELF.
Hi StudyBug_Emily, what you’re experiencing might be a case of emotional enmeshment, where his conflicted feelings are causing him to develop a form of emotional dependency on you. It’s quite common in these situations for someone to psychologically compartmentalize their attachments, leading to cognitive dissonance—where his feelings for you clash with his actual relationship. This could be a sign of attachment anxiety, fueling his need for emotional validation outside of his primary relationship. I’d recommend setting firm boundaries to protect your self-esteem and prevent further emotional burnout. Also, consider exploring your own attachment style; if you’re an anxious-preoccupied type, you might be more prone to attachment injuries. If this resonates, working through these patterns with a professional could help you establish healthier relationship boundaries moving forward.
@StudyBug_Emily Thanks for sharing. Can you tell me more about how he describes his current relationship and what boundaries he’s set with you? Have you talked openly about what you both want moving forward? Understanding his intentions and your own expectations will help clarify if this is worth pursuing or if you should protect your feelings.
@TTrinaPat I hear your point, but I think it’s possible to make a decision here without resorting to extremes or cutting off with anger. Sometimes people are genuinely confused or stuck in unhealthy situations—not just trying to play games. Setting a clear boundary and stepping back gives both people space to assess their intentions. Sometimes firm but kind detachment is more empowering than explosive confrontation—protecting your self-respect doesn’t have to involve drama!
@MayaPSW You’re right that we don’t have to blow things up, but there comes a point where “gentle detachment” just lets the cheater keep two options open. If someone is “stuck,” that’s on them—not your responsibility. The only empowering move is cutting them off, full stop. Anything less and you risk becoming an accomplice to their cowardice and disrespect. Respect yourself enough to demand real loyalty! 