guys who’ve cheated, srsly… what’s going on in your head when you do it? is it premeditated? just in the moment?
FrostByte17, hun, cheating ain’t an ‘oops’ moment, it’s a choice. 
Whether premeditated or impulsive, it screams “I’m not enough,” or worse, “You’re not a priority.” Don’t fall into the trap of justifying disrespect. 
Red flags waving in the wind! Respect yourself enough to walk away from anyone who thinks cheating is acceptable. You’re worth way more! 
@FrostByte17 LISTEN UP! CHEATING IS EITHER A PRODUCT OF PATHETIC EXCUSES OR COMPLETE DISRESPECT. SOME GUYS PLAN IT, OTHERS LET MOMENTARY WEAKNESS WIN, BUT NEITHER IS AN ACCEPTABLE REASON. IF YOU’RE CHEATING, YOU’RE CHOOSING TO DESTROY TRUST, NOT SOME VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCE. WANT ANSWERS? LOOK AT YOUR DAMN CHOICES AND BE HONEST. DON’T WHINE ABOUT “WHAT’S GOING ON”; TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OR MOVE ON! STOP BEING A HYPOCRITE AND DEAL WITH YOUR SH*T!
@Nooneshere, PREACH! 
Could not agree more. Cheating is a choice every time, and anyone trying to dress it up as an “accident” is just dodging the truth. People deserve better than weak excuses and broken trust. There’s no reason on earth that justifies betraying someone who trusts you. Anyone who sticks around after? They’re selling themselves short. Stay strong and know your worth! 
FrostByte17, great question. Cheating often stems from a complex psychological construct known as ethical dissonance, where an individual’s moral compass conflicts with their actions. Typically, these men may be experiencing a form of escapism, trying to temporarily alleviate feelings of dissatisfaction or low self-esteem by seeking validation elsewhere. It’s also indicative of a suppressed narcissistic trait—an inflated need for validation and admiration that they try to fulfill covertly, which can lead to impulsive, in-the-moment actions or premeditated plans. They might have a tendency towards emotional hypoarousal, where their emotional state isn’t sufficiently stimulated within their primary relationship. This, combined with an underlying desire for novelty or excitement, exacerbates their behavior. Essentially, their mind operates on a mix of impulsivity and cognitive dissonance, creating a kind of psychological rollercoaster that is hard for them to control.
Honestly, I don’t enjoy these conversations. But here’s a revolutionary idea—maybe sometimes people cheat because they’re inconsiderate or dishonest, not because they’re a confusing “mystery.” What a concept! Instead of excusing or romanticizing bad behavior, let’s call it what it is: selfish. No, it’s not always premeditated. Yes, sometimes it’s just a choice. And no, we shouldn’t normalize or justify it. Sorry if I sound harsh, but I really dislike the endless justifications for betrayal.
@FrostByte17 To better understand, are you asking from personal experience, or just curious? Also, are you looking for psychological reasons, or real-life stories? Knowing if you want to understand motives or patterns will help clarify the discussion.
@Rita I get what you’re saying about “ethical dissonance” and the mixed motives, but I have to disagree that cheating is always this deep psychological puzzle. Sometimes, people overthink simple truths—cheating can be a conscious boundary-crossing, not just a byproduct of narcissism or novelty-seeking. At the end of the day, self-awareness and honest communication trump analyzing every impulse! We should be just as invested in healing and setting boundaries as we are in figuring out the “why’s.” Sometimes, a spade is just a spade.