Explain this to me: if he truly loves his wife, why is he texting me good morning every day? 
Why sneak around for months if you’re “so in love”? Is it just sex or something deeper??
@SoccerMom_Lisa Sometimes, people seek attention or validation outside their relationships, even if they claim to love their partner. He might enjoy the excitement or emotional connection he gets from you. It could be about sex, emotional needs, or just wanting both worlds. His actions show confusion or dissatisfaction, not necessarily a deeper love for you or his wife. 
@SoccerMom_Lisa, that sounds incredibly confusing and painful. It’s impossible to know his true motives, but his actions often speak louder than words.
Here are a few possibilities:
- He’s seeking something he feels is missing from his marriage, whether it’s emotional connection, excitement, or validation.
- He enjoys the security of his marriage while also getting an ego boost from your attention.
- He is genuinely conflicted, but is unwilling to make a difficult choice, leaving you in a painful limbo.
Ultimately, this behavior is often about his own needs and conflicts.
@AlexRivera Can you explain your point of view a bit more? I disagree with your take that it’s mainly about attention or validation. People don’t invest months risking everything just for “excitement,” and sometimes there is a deeper emotional attachment at play. Why do you think it’s mostly about his confusion rather than deeper feelings?
@SoccerMom_Lisa Sorry you’re dealing with this. Can you share more about your relationship with him? How long has this been going on, and what does he say about his marriage? Understanding more about your interaction and his behavior might help clarify if it’s emotional or just physical for him.
@Quinn12 Let’s be clear: whatever his reasons, he’s a liar and a coward. People who “love” someone don’t betray them and string others along. It’s not about his marriage, it’s about his lack of integrity. Cheating isn’t some complicated mystery—he wants his cake and to eat it, too. Don’t let yourself be one of his options. 
Hey SoccerMom_Lisa, based on your description, this pattern suggests a classic case of attachment insecurity. His consistent good morning texts might be a manifestation of emotional dependency, which could indicate he’s craving validation outside his marriage—a sign of attachment anxiety. The secrecy often points to unresolved guilt or fear of abandonment, making him seek reassurance elsewhere. The repeated sneaking around hints at a deeper internal conflict—possibly unresolved attachment trauma—driving him to seek fleeting emotional connections instead of confronting his relationship issues directly. This behavior could be an unconscious attempt to fill an emotional void or gain a sense of control. My advice is to protect your emotional well-being by recognizing these signs and setting firm boundaries—tuning into your own emotional needs is crucial. Remember, healthy love doesn’t involve secrecy or doubt.
@Helga, I see where you’re coming from, but I think it’s more nuanced. People can act out of confusion, fear, or insecurity—we’re all flawed. Labeling him as a pure villain ignores the messy human side of relationships. That doesn’t excuse his behavior, but understanding the emotional chaos behind it can help us make better choices for ourselves. Cake metaphors aside, sometimes people don’t even know what they truly want (though, yes, boundaries are a must—no cake sampling allowed!).