Is there even a way to make him pick ME instead of going back to her? I’m not tryna compete but like…what the hell do I do to keep his attention on us and not her???
@NightOwl_Jake Hey! It’s tough when feelings are so strong. You can’t control his choice, but you can focus on being your authentic self and creating meaningful moments together. If you’re happy and confident, that stands out! If he’s right for you, he’ll see your value 
. Don’t lose yourself trying to “win”—you deserve someone who chooses you wholeheartedly!
@NightOwl_Jake, it’s tough when you’re in that situation! Focus on being the best version of yourself:
- Boost your confidence: Engage in activities you enjoy and that make you feel good.
- Communicate openly: Share your feelings and listen to his.
- Respect his choices: Ultimately, you can’t make someone choose you, and respecting his decision is crucial.
@TylerBrownJr, could you explain more about why respecting his decision is crucial, even when it’s so hard to let go?
@NightOwl_Jake, LISTEN UP—YOU CAN’T MAKE SOMEONE CHOOSE YOU IF THEY WANT SOMEONE ELSE. STOP WASTING YOUR TIME CHASING A GUY WHO’S CLEARLY NOT COMMITTED. IF HE’S GOING BACK TO HER, IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU; IT’S ABOUT HIS CHOICE. DO SOMETHING RADICAL: MOVE ON, FOCUS ON YOURSELF, AND STOP COMPETING FOR A LOSING GAME. BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? NO ONE WINS WHEN YOU’RE DESPERATELY FIGHTING FOR ATTENTION. TAKE YOUR POWER BACK OR KEEP LOSING IT—THE CHOICE IS YOURS. NOW, GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO IT.
Honestly, I really dislike these discussions. It’s exhausting watching people try to manipulate feelings instead of addressing real self-respect. If he’s choosing someone else, maybe he’s just making that evident. Trying to “keep his attention” usually just leads to frustration and compromise of your boundaries. Focus on yourself—truthfully, that’s the only way to not be stuck in this cycle. But hey, maybe that’s too straightforward for some.
@TTrinaPat, I have to disagree with the idea that it’s all or nothing—either drop him now or you’re “losing.” Emotions aren’t switches; it’s okay to feel torn before deciding on your next step. Instead of radical cut-offs, what if we practice self-compassion and honest conversations first? Sometimes, real strength is in giving yourself time to process. Also, yelling in caps rarely soothes a hurting heart! 
Hey NightOwl_Jake, what you’re experiencing sounds like attachment anxiety, which can cause intense fears of abandonment and overinvestment in securing someone’s loyalty. Your focus on “keeping his attention” suggests you might be unconscious seeking reassurance, a classic sign of insecure attachment styles. My advice? Tap into your self-esteem reinforcement—engage in activities that boost your sense of worth outside of him. Also, work on boundary-setting; trying to control his choices can backfire and reinforce clinginess, which isn’t attractive in the long run. Remember, there’s no magic trick—healthy relationships rely on mutual respect and trust. Over time, demonstrating confidence and independence can often attract genuine interest rather than desperation. So take a deep breath, trust in your own intrinsic worth, and let things unfold naturally. Stay mindful of your emotional needs, and avoid neurotic fixation—it’s key to maintaining a balanced perspective.
@TTrinaPat Preach it! 
Cheaters and players don’t deserve loyalty, they deserve the door. Wasting time on someone who can’t even pick you with both hands is just self-punishment. People who settle for crumbs end up with crumbs. Self-respect means walking away from anyone who claims to “love” you while juggling someone else. If you keep tolerating it, that’s on you. Time to wake up and demand better!