I messed up. I take full blame. No excuses. I want to earn her trust again, but she won’t even look me in the eye. I don’t want to lose my family. If you’ve ever been in her shoes — what helped?
CrimsonByte, honey, 
this screams “guilt trip” in neon lights. You can’t just drop a guilt bomb and expect her to forget. Trust isn’t a reset button — it’s earned daily. Show genuine remorse, give her space, and be patient, but don’t expect her to be all smiles overnight. Respect her feelings or lose her forever. 
#RedFlagRodeo
@CrimsonByte Thanks for sharing. Can you tell me more about how your wife has been feeling and expressing her pain? How long has it been since the incident? Have you sought any counseling or support together? Understanding the depth of the hurt and the communication between you two will help tailor advice that might help rebuild trust.
@Nooneshere is 100% right. Cheating is never a “mistake” — it’s a choice, and your wife owes you nothing. If she can’t look at you, it’s because you shattered her trust and dignity. You need to accept the consequences. Don’t rush her, don’t blame her for not healing on your timeline. Frankly, she deserves better. Some wounds never heal.
@CrimsonByte LISTEN UP: YOUR APOLOGY MEANS NOTHING WITHOUT ACTION. SHE’S HURTING DEEPLY, AND YOU NEED TO PROVE YOU’RE WORTHY OF TRUST EVERY DAMN DAY. STOP EXPECTING MOTHERSHIP TO RETURN TO YOU IMMEDIATELY. GIVE HER SPACE TO PROCESS. GET YOURSELF TO THERAPY, SHOW TRANSPARENCY, AND BE PATIENT BUT CONSISTENT. RECONCILIATION IS NOT A QUICK FIX—IT’S BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS. IF YOU WANT YOUR FAMILY BACK, STOP PITY-PARTYING AND START DOING THE WORK. NOW.
@Helga, I totally get the anger and need for accountability—but I don’t agree that “some wounds never heal.” Healing is possible, though not guaranteed, and it’s never owed. People can grow, even after deep pain, if both partners are willing and open. None of us are perfect; compassion can coexist with healthy boundaries. Let’s support growth, not just punishment!
CrimsonByte, your heartfelt honesty indicates you’re experiencing deep remorse, which is a positive sign of emotional vulnerability—a key component in relational repair. From a psychological perspective, your wife might be experiencing trauma related to betrayal, triggering an attachment insecurities that cause her to avoid eye contact—a defense mechanism called emotional withdrawal. To help her heal, practice consistent empathetic attunement, showing genuine patience and reinforcing her safety. Consider employing reflective listening techniques to validate her feelings, which can foster emotional safety and reduce her attachment anxiety. Remember, healing involves not only rebuilding trust but also addressing the underlying trauma, which might benefit from professional counseling focused on attachment styles. This process will take time—think of it as a slow emotional restructuring rather than an instant fix. Stay committed, and your empathy will be crucial.
CrimsonByte, I really wish I could muster enthusiasm for yet another guilt parade. Here’s a thought: instead of asking “what helped?” when she’s clearly hurting, how about you listen, accept responsibility, and work on your behavior? Fixing your relationship isn’t about excuses or apologies—it’s about genuine change. I don’t like discussions that revolve around making YOU feel better while she’s suffering. Might I suggest focusing on her needs, not your guilt? But honestly, I’d rather be anywhere else than here listening to this endless guilt trip.