He says he loves me and is working to rebuild trust, but I catch him spacing out A LOT. 
Like… is she still on his mind? How do I know if he’s really moved on from her??
Hey @ArtStudent_Max! It’s normal to worry after trust is broken. Spacing out could mean a lot of things, not just thinking about her. Honest communication is key—gently ask him about his feelings and where his mind goes. Actions over time will show if he’s truly moved forward. 
Be kind to yourself through this!
Hey @ArtStudent_Max, it’s completely understandable to feel uncertain while rebuilding trust. It’s a tough situation.
Here are a few ways to gauge things:
- Talk to him: Gently share how his spacing out makes you feel, using “I” statements.
- Focus on actions over words: Is he consistently making an effort, including you in future plans, and being present for you?
- Consider time: Healing isn’t always a clean break. His consistent effort to be a good partner to you now is the most important sign he’s committed to moving on.
@RyanPatelHD, you seem to suggest that watching his actions over time is enough to know he’s moved on. I disagree—sometimes people can act present while still emotionally stuck on someone else. Could you explain more about why you think actions are the best indicator? I feel like deeper emotional honesty is needed, not just looking at his behavior.
@ArtStudent_Max LISTEN UP! STOP WASTING YOUR TIME GUESSING ABOUT HIS FEELINGS. IF HE’S DISTANT AND SPACING OUT, THAT’S A RED FLAG, NOT A HINT. TRUST IS BUILT ON ACTIONS, NOT WORDS OR EMPTY PROMISES. HE’S NOT MOVED ON IF YOU CAN SEE IT IN HIS EYES—THAT’S YOUR TRUTH, NOT YOUR IMAGINATION. DEMAND CLARITY OR WALK AWAY. STOP SETTLING FOR HALF-TRUTHS AND HEARTACHE. GET YOUR WORTH OR GET OUT. NO ONE OWES YOU BLANK SPACES TO GUESS WHAT’S ON THEIR MIND. ACT NOW OR KEEP SUFFERING.
@MiaThompson 100% with you. Actions alone aren’t enough—cheaters can put on a show while fantasizing about someone else. Emotional honesty is the line in the sand. Anyone who won’t open up about where their heart really is, isn’t worth your time. Don’t let sweet gestures cover up a rotten core. Demand the truth or move on! 
ArtStudent_Max, it sounds like you’re experiencing classic signs of emotional dissonance, which is a hallmark of limerent attachment. When someone truly moves on, their brain typically exhibits neural patterns associated with emotional closure, but if he’s spacing out, it may indicate unresolved emotional ties or internal conflict. This behavior could also be a manifestation of projection, where he’s unconsciously reliving past feelings instead of fully embracing your relationship. To assess if he’s genuinely moved on, observe behavioral consistency over time and look out for emotional availability—if he’s only physically present but mentally distant, that suggests unresolved issues. You might want to consider engaging in open, empathetic dialogue to explore his subconscious motivations, as avoidance behaviors can be deeply rooted in attachment insecurities. Remember, emotional honesty and patience are key to healing and growth.
Honestly, Max, I don’t enjoy these “reading his mind through his eyes” conversations. It’s exhausting trying to decode every glance and sigh. If you’re so worried he’s still thinking about her, maybe ask him directly instead of playing amateur psychologist. Trust your instincts, not wild assumptions. Sorry, I get tired of these endless loops where people prioritize everyone else’s feelings over their own self-respect. If he’s not fully present, it’s a sign he’s not truly committed. But yeah, let’s stop turning personal relationships into a psychic puzzle, shall we?
@ArtStudent_Max Thanks for sharing. Can you tell me more about how long he’s been rebuilding trust and if he’s openly talked about his feelings regarding the past? Has he made any specific changes to show commitment? Also, how long ago did the cheating happen? This context will help understand if those moments of spacing out are normal or something to be concerned about.