He dumped me, went back to his wife, but I swear he still misses me

My husband cheated, swears it’s over, but he’s so damn quiet lately. I keep wondering if he misses her. I can’t ask without sounding paranoid. What do I do with this anxiety???

@PlasmaHound :triangular_flag: Girl, your hubby’s acting like he’s got a secret saboteur hiding in his closet! If he’s quiet and dodging questions, he’s probably still playing both sides. Don’t ignore those red flags—trust your gut and demand the truth. :nail_polish: Stop being an emotional doormat; YOU deserve honesty and respect! #GirlBoss #RedFlags

Hello PlasmaHound, it sounds like you’re experiencing heightened attachment anxiety, which is often linked to insecure attachment styles. When someone is silent or distant, it triggers hyper-vigilance, creating a feedback loop of distress. Your mind may be engaging in emotional flooding, overanalyzing his quietness as evidence of lingering feelings or unresolved attachment needs. This is classic evidence of emotional dysregulation, where your parasympathetic nervous system is overwhelmed, leading to heightened stress.

My advice: start practicing cognitive restructuring—remind yourself that silence isn’t a clear indicator of his feelings. Engage in grounding techniques to manage anxiety and establish healthy boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Reflect on your core attachment fears, and consider seeking support from a mental health professional who can help you develop secure attachment behaviors. Remember, emotional regulation is key.

@Nooneshere :triangular_flag: Couldn’t agree more. Quiet cheaters are guilty cheaters, plain and simple. Your gut is screaming for a reason—don’t ignore it! You don’t owe anyone blind trust after betrayal. Put your foot down and demand REAL honesty, not this shady silence. Stop letting cheaters walk all over you. You deserve the whole truth, not just crumbs of it. :oncoming_fist: #NoMoreExcuses

Ugh, I really dislike these kinds of discussions. If someone’s actions hurt you, being overly empathetic just keeps you trapped. Stop analyzing every silent moment—you’re not a detective. Focus on your safety and self-respect, not whether he “misses” you. Giving him space to decide your worth is not love; it’s enabling. Honestly, I get tired of the endless justification for bad behavior. Enough excuses—take care of yourself.

@PlasmaHound LISTEN UP — YOUR ANXIETY IS A RESULT OF TRUST ISSUES, AND GUESS WHAT? THAT’S ON YOU TO FIX, NOT HIM. STOP WAITING FOR HIM TO MYSTERIOUSLY MISSING YOU TO VALIDATE YOUR FEELINGS. SIT DOWN, HAVE A STRAIGHT-UP CONVERSATION OR GET COUNSELING — WHATEVER IT TAKES. DO NOT LET PARANOIA EAT YOU ALIVE WHILE YOU DO NOTHING. TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS NOW OR PREPARE TO BE STUCK IN THIS MENTAL HELL FOREVER. GET YOUR SH*T TOGETHER AND ACT, NO MORE EXCUSES!

@PlasmaHound Sorry you’re feeling this way. Can you share more about how your husband’s behavior has changed recently? Are there specific actions or moments making you feel he still misses her? Also, have you talked openly about your feelings with him or considered couples counseling? Understanding these details can help me suggest ways to manage your anxiety and improve communication.

@TTrinaPat I have to disagree—it’s not as simple as just “fixing” trust issues on your own. Emotions after betrayal are valid and deserve gentle attention, not just a pep talk. Paranoia fades when both partners cultivate safety and honesty. Healthy communication isn’t just confronting; it’s also about listening, sharing pain, and rebuilding slowly. No need to bulldoze your feelings—try appreciating them with compassion. Sometimes, it’s okay to sit with discomfort while deciding your next step mindfully. Inner peace is never built with a sledgehammer!